Patience

The lesson I see most through Scripture is one of waiting upon the Lord.

Honestly, I have a hard time with timing.

Not getting something when I wanted it was always difficult for me. Im sure many can relate.

In my own stubbornness I was always sure I could handle what ever it is that I desire to engage in. Either I would already be quite familiar with it or I knew I could adapt to it quickly.

So so stubborn, but not in the sense of rebellion whereas I didn't want help with tackling a difficulty, but in the sense of independence where I thought I didn't need help. Kinda see what I mean?

Well moving on.

Recently I have had more than significant events take place that have left me with practically no earthly support. And that's not because I couldn't find any but because I didn't want any.

I have felt as if I must overcome by my own mental fortitude rather than by the guide and comfort of others God has placed in my life.

But out of all the many many times I have faced discouragement and depression I have finally given up to God.

I can gladly say My stubborn heart of stone is much more tender and accepting of assistance. Divine and otherwise.

But in the back of my head it is still a huge struggle to just submit my feeling to conjecture by other people.

I risk being wrong and being corrected.

I even risk having my plans and timing changed.

But in all this I have found blessings and not the negative outcomes I had presupposed.
Having patience through these difficulties, as in suffering through them, has given me a new option.

Its not an option  to be right, or to be wrong but an option to simply let God choose in His time.

To not really act or try to succeed in my own plans, but really just Trust and Obey.

For me, gifts are hard to just receive, I push to attain them in my own efforts or to search them out and discover them with my own intellect.

But in the most valuable and difficult choices in life, ones that mold you and maybe another, God as a Father for his children wants to pick out the best gifts and present them to His waiting, patient child.